Being in a situation that I do not know what the next step is after graduation, I find myself thinking repeatedly about the necessity of making a decision. I heard the question, “What are you doing next for your future?” numerous times but I could not explain this unclear situation. So I went swimming almost everyday to listen my own thoughts under the water and search for the right answer. Until very recently, I had to make decisions for my future about career, location, family, friends and love.

The poem is also about having feelings for someone. While having constant conflict between my reason and emotions, I was not able to address to the feelings in any linguistic way. The poem by a Turkish poet directly addresses to the everything above. However the video is not an answer. It is more of a documentation of my uncertain state of mind about my thoughts and feelings for my future and the person.

Anlatamıyorum
Ağlasam sesimi duyar mısınız,
Mısralarımda;
Dokunabilir misiniz,
Gözyaşlarıma, ellerinizle?

Bilmezdim şarkıların bu kadar güzel,
Kelimelerinse kifayetsiz olduğunu
Bu derde düşmeden önce.

Bir yer var, biliyorum;
Her şeyi söylemek mümkün;
Epeyce yaklaşmışım, duyuyorum;
Anlatamıyorum…

Orhan Veli Kanık

I can not explain
If I cry,
Will you hear my voice in the lines;
Can you touch,
My tears, with your hands?

I did not know the songs were so beautiful,
That the words were so insufficient,
Before I had this trouble.

There is a place, I know;
It is possible to say everything;
I am pretty close, I am hearing;
I can not explain …

Orhan Veli Kanık

 

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